ID Music: Heaven is Now
Losing freedom and happiness in our efforts to be mindful and healthy
One of the motivating principles behind Basking in Gravity – my yoga, meditation, and audiovisual art project that returns to Healer Indianapolis this Sunday, August 11 – is the concept of “non-self improvement.” When I was eyeballs-deep in the mindfulness world, taking yoga teacher training while living at the Indianapolis Zen Center, I experienced the common side effect of “mindfulness fatigue.” It’s similar to the “psychedelic fatigue” that I’ve been feeling over the last year or so. It’s a reaction to both the commodification and valorization of supposedly mind and heart opening practices, and the way that seeking enlightenment – whether it’s through DMT, LSD, yin, or Zen – can become another form of avoidance, taking us out of the present moment. I got tired of pharmaceutical industry psychonauts and fashy tech oligarchs talking about how MDMA could lead to “net zero trauma,” yoga teachers telling me I was a divine being full of light and love, and people in general recategorizing freaky-ass freak drugs as “medicine” intended to cure illness or compensate for a failing.
Basking in Gravity Returns to Healer
Psychedelic therapy can be good medicine. Meditation can help people become more patient, and yoga can help with stress reduction. But as I make my way through middle age I wonder at what point do I stop trying to improve – to become something other than what I already am – in favor of accepting myself as I am right now. Improvement is not infinite. Even if we somehow maintain a consistent upward trajectory in our physical and mental health throughout adulthood, it’s inevitable that our minds and bodies will begin to decline. And for better or worse, we’re all already enlightened: this “now” is enlightenment, we just don’t realize it.
The language featured on this (very very chill) series of mixes from Spring 2024 is from Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Art of Living, and it also points at this concern:
We have a habit of running after things, and this habit has been transmitted to us by our parents and ancestors. We don’t feel fulfilled in the here and now, and so we run after all kinds of things we think will make us happier. We sacrifice our life chasing after objects of craving or striving for success in our work or studies. We chase after our life’s dream and lose ourselves along the way. We even lose our freedom and happiness in our efforts to be mindful, to be healthy, to relieve suffering in the world, or to get enlightened. We disregard the wonders of the present moment, thinking that heaven and the ultimate are for later, not for now.
To practice meditation means to have the time to look deeply and see these things. If you feel restless in the here and now, or you feel ill at ease, you need to ask yourself: “what am I longing for? what am I waiting for? what am I searching for?”
Thich Nhat Hanh
The Art of Living
For me, sitting meditation is an opportunity to take a break from trying to improve myself, whether with exercise, head meds, or talk therapy: Zazen is an opportunity to take a break from seeking enlightenment.
Likewise, Basking in Gravity isn’t about getting better at yoga. It’s accepting that this is how my body feels doing yoga here and now, without inserting that experience into a hierarchy, or evaluating it with binary distinctions like good and bad, better or worse. The reality is that I’ve been a sloppy yogi for over 20 years, and I don’t see that changing. If I’m practicing yoga to become a more graceful yogi, I’ve failed. If I’m practicing yoga to experience my body? No problema.
I overcame mindfulness fatigue partially because the Zen center where I lived was an especially anarchic Zen center. It was more like the wacky settings found in Zen koans – monasteries full of burping and farting monks slap-boxing with each other over whose turn it is to pet the cat – than dystopic AmaZen meditation boxes or the airless VR dharma rooms conjured by meditation apps. Perhaps because of these borderline apostate aspects of Zen Center life, I continue to see a surprising number of intersections of Zen and Rastafarianism. I can’t help but wonder if there would be fewer of these instances if I knew more about Rastafarianism, but the elusiveness of concrete doctrine in both spiritual practices is one of the primary points of convergence. More on this subject below, as excerpted from the show notes fromthe 2023 “Equanimity in Armagideon” series of reggae-heavy Inter-Dimensional Music broadcasts:
As Peter B. Clarke writes in Black Paradise - The Rastafarian Movement, “It is, of course, extremely difficult to generalize about Rastafarians and their beliefs, for this is not a church movement with hierarchical structures, highly developed institutions, and a systematic theology.” This looseness1 is not dissimilar to my non-traditional experience with Zen institutions – the Indianapolis Zen Center sometimes felt more like a crust punk house – and this lack of broad theological consensus or institutional hierarchies implies a more important intersection.
“It is personal experience,” Clarke continues, “as much as anything else, which determines the validity or otherwise of a statement, truth, or belief.” As I often say of both Zen and yoga, so others have said of Rastafari: It’s more of a way of being in the world than something you believe.
When Thầy says “we disregard the wonders of the present moment, thinking that heaven and the ultimate are for later, not for now” it’s not a far cry from when Bob sings . . .
Most people think great God will come from the sky /
Take away everything, and make everybody feel high /
But if you know what life is worth /
You would look for yours on earth
While Rastas and Zen practitioners may mean different things when they’re talking about “the wonders of the present moment” and “looking for yours on earth,” the concept is similar. The benefits of ital living and the equanimity of enlightenment are more about how a person lives in the world, and less about what they believe happens after they die.
Zen is an opportunity to take a break from seeking enlightenment. Basking in Gravity is more of an art project informed by non-hierarchical thinking than a yoga class where you finally get your shit together. Rather than trying to improve on reality by upgrading my individual attributes, this is a practice that allows me to let go of a separate identity in favor of embracing non-self. This is an elusive Buddhist concept, but it’s interpreted by Lewis Richmond, a Zen teachers whose words we return to often, as “everything is connected.”
To practice non-self improvement is to let go of self-motivated aspirational practice, and let the binary between self and other dissolve into a sense of shared experience. Again, quoting Richmond, “The fact that we all suffer means we are all in the same boat, and that’s what allows us to feel compassion.”
Once again and as always thank you for reading the words, listening to the mixclouds, commenting on the topics, lurking anonymously, subscribing for free, subscribing for money, unsubscribing if this is getting on your nerves, or sending this wonderful direct mail blog service opportunity to your nice friends.
blessing up and blessing down,
DC
Programming note: Our free Mixcloud account only allows for 10 published shows at a time, so I’m uploading all three of these programs as a single file. Click the “download” option and you can stream or DL individual episodes. They’re all very chill!
Inter-Dimensional Music 20240223
stream | download
For this week's session, it's an hour of isophonic boogie-woogie, murky flute feedback, ambient reggaeton, dread techno, and pulverized dub. Language and music throughout the broadcast from Thich Nhat Hanh and Jayve Montgomery about the misguided belief that heaven is for later: Heaven is now.
Our program begins, and eventually comes to an end, with plunderphonic vaporwave from SLOWERPACE.
slowerpace - Acqua
MJ Guider - Grand Couteau
Julianna Barwick and Mary Lattimore - Canyon Lights
Jayve Montgomery - some folks' heaven is now
Kelman Duran - Day of the Child
Space Afrika - B1
Emerald Lion - Kebra Dub
Maral - wondering dub
Roland P. Young - Velvet Dream
Four Tet - Loved
Randal Fisher & Dexter Story - Igi
slowerpace - Terra
Inter-Dimensional Music 20240301
stream | download
For this week's session, we'll hear an hour of ethereal jazz, murky techno, and motorik New Age music from Surya, Nate, and Carlos, Bardo Pond, Black Uhuru, and others.
Our program begins, and eventually comes to an end, with surprisingly bucolic drone from Kevin Drumm. Language throughout the broadcast from Thich Nhat Hanh, who offers thoughts on the intersection of Rasta and Zen: Heaven is for now.
Kevin Drumm - Old Shoes
Horace Ferguson - Sensi Addict
Skee Mask - thnk u
Bardo Pond - Every Man
Surya Botosafina, Nate Mercereaux, Carlos Niño - Subtle Movements
Odd Nosdam - End Is Important
Dntel x Enya - After Ventus
TENGGER - Middle
Ashra - Ocean of Tenderness
Black Uhuru - Youth
Kevin Drumm - Old Shoes
Inter-Dimensional Music 20240308
stream | download
For this week's practice, it's a seasonally appropriate meditation on the lengthening of days, the movement of the heavens, and the passage of breath in and out of our bodies. We'll hear contemplative stoner choogling, Bugandan drums mixed up with UK bass, downer folk from behind the redwood curtain, and more spiritual jazz drift from Nate Mercereau.
Blissful celestial transmissions from Iasos, the recently departed New Age pioneer whose 1975 debut album served as the inspiration for this very program, serve as entry and exit points to this session. Language throughout the broadcast from Thich Nhat Hanh, as read by your host.
Iasos - Sighs From Heaven
Maral - hope's return
Nihiloxica - Postloya
Ulla - Falling Water Lullaby
Bardo Pond - Splint
Flying Canyon - Crossing By Your Star
Lungfish - Peace Mountains of Peace
Oneida - Pre-Human
Warren Sampson - Miss Jessel
Nate Mercereau with Idris Ackamoor and Carlos Niño - Excellent Traveler Theme
Jayve Montgomery - some folks' heaven is breath
Sonic Youth - In & Out
Black Sabbath - Never Say Die
Iasos - Sighs From Heaven
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